Verse by Ken Wood

Franglais, my dear, I don’t give Adam

Doing what comes naturally

Scorned woman!

'Sad Cow' Eyes

Franglais, my dear, I don’t give Adam

Un p’tit d’un p’tit ça tant à veul

Un p’tit d’un p’tit, à degrés folles,

A les quinze hors seize en a les quinze mènent

Coup donc pu un p’tit tout guerre à gaine.

Doing what comes naturally

The great white shark will take your leg to satisfy its need

It only knows it’s hungry, and so it starts to feed

It doesn’t mean to hurt you.  It bears you no ill-will.

It’s driven by its hunger. It has to eat its fill.

And if you’re there as it swims by, it only sees a snack

And even though you’re very nice, it surely will attack

It’s nothing personal, really.  It’s only doing what

It’s driven to by nature. It doesn’t give a jot.

It isn’t being nasty.  It isn’t being cruel.

Survival of the fittest is nature’s greatest rule.

The elephant will crush your skull as through the grass it walks

If you’ve lain down to have a nap in places where it stalks.

It doesn’t mean to hurt you. It bears you no ill-will,

But tons of weight upon your head is guaranteed to kill

And if you’re lying, sleeping there as it goes walking by

A careless foot upon your head means that you’re going to die

It’s nothing personal, really.  It’s only doing what

It’s driven to by nature. It doesn’t give a jot.

It isn’t being nasty.  It isn’t being cruel.

Survival of the fittest is nature’s greatest rule.

The greedy bully takes from you exactly what he wants

He doesn’t know he’s doing wrong, no conscience him confronts

He doesn’t mean to hurt you.   He bears you no ill-will.

He has a need.  You have the means his wishes to fulfil. 

So why should he not have it?  And really should you mind?

And why would you begrudge him?  Are you really that unkind?

It’s nothing personal, really. He’s only doing what

He’s driven to by nature. He doesn’t give a jot.

He isn’t being nasty.  He isn’t being cruel.

Survival of the fittest is nature’s greatest rule.

So don’t expect the ‘Sorry’ word from some that do you wrong.

Apologies come from the weak and never from the strong.

He didn’t mean to hurt you.  He bore you no ill-will.

He has the right to please himself, for you the bitter pill

To swallow if you care to. That’s really up to you.

That he’s a hurtful bastard, he doesn’t have a clue.

It’s nothing personal, really. He’s only doing what

He’s driven to by nature. He doesn’t give a jot.

He isn’t being nasty.  He isn’t being cruel.

Survival of the fittest is nature’s greatest rule.

Scorned woman!

A woman’s very choosy when she goes out on a date

She won’t go out with anyone she can’t see as a mate.

He’s got to have the gene set that she thinks will make her match

And no amount of pressure will this rule for her relax.

A man will go out with just any woman he can shag

From stunning beauty all the way to quite outrageous hag.

He doesn’t need to see a future with this girl portrayed

He only wants a reasonable chance he’s going to get laid!

But when a man’s rejected by a woman he’s asked out,

He’s got to put a brave face on and not show he’s cast out,

But dare a man reject a woman once she’s made her choice,

You can be certain that out of her pram she’ll throw her toys.

The prospect of relationship will come right to an end

That’s even though the poor guy only sought to be her friend

You don’t reject a woman with impunity that’s clear

She’ll make him pay a price that he will find is very dear.

She’ll tell her friends (and his if she is given half a chance)

The awful things he did to her when looking for romance.

It’s even worse if he leaves when relationship’s begun

And she has come to think she is for him the only one

He might as well be dead and she will do her very best

To try to see he is, for she will be a thing obsessed.

And when she’s done he’ll curse the very day that he was born,

For Hell contains no fury like a woman that’s been scorned.

'Sad Cow' Eyes

You used to make me miss you with your lovely ‘sad cow’ eyes.

One look would cause my aching heart to melt,

And when you went, my pain at first I just could not disguise.

I think it was the saddest loss I’ve felt.

Those huge brown eyes would look at me and break my heart in two,

Because I knew I sometimes caused you pain.

I never thought the day would come, I didn’t have a clue

That I’d not ever see those eyes again.

The thought of hurting you was once impossible for me

To contemplate.  I cared so much for you.

I soldiered on because I couldn’t bear to see you weep.

I never dreamt we’d ever say ‘adieu’.

But then one day I found out that you weren’t what you seemed.

I saw something quite ugly in those eyes.

It’s frightening to think how much you plotted and you schemed.

The love I’d seen in you was all just lies.

But now those ‘sad cow’ eyes have gone, I see things differently.

I must have been so blind.  I don’t know how.

Without those eyes to melt my heart by staring up at me,

I realise you’re just a sad, sad cow.

© Ken Wood 2004

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